15 items or less...

i had something happen today that i allowed to disturb my peace. i say "allowed" because everything that happens in life sets up a series of personal choices as to how we will react.
the day had already started out stressed. i didn't get a lot of sleep, and had to be up early for the closing talk at a seminar i had attended all week on "building a better future". as i left my house, i noticed little snowflakes falling.
it's May 1st, could winter just finally be over in Minnesota please?
anyway, the seminar ended in an uplifting way(putting me in a somewhat better mood), so i decided to stop and get some groceries on my way home.

at the store, i grabbed a few items and headed for the check-out.
the lines were long, so i went to the "15 items or less" line. there was only one woman ahead of me, who had about 30 items that she was already putting on the conveyor.

i politely said, "you do realize this line is for people who have 15 items or less, right?" i was at least expecting a sheepish apology, but no such luck. she began to berate me and tell me to shut up several times.

i was like, "WHAT? oh no you didn't!".

she began pontificating about how i didn't know how to be a human being or treat one, at which point i sardonically said, "well at least i can read."

it only digressed further south from there. :-(

SHE WENT OFF! she was going on and on, and with each insult her resolve in doing the WRONG thing only grew stronger.
what surprised me even more, is that i felt like kitty genovese(if you don't know the story, just wikipedia it). there were at least 3 cashiers listening to her entire diatribe, but NO ONE would say a thing. all sorts of shoppers saw her hurl insults too, but none of them chose to do anything either.
when she finally left, i asked the cashier why she hadn't said anything. she responded, "i did say something to her." i asked, "what did you say?", at which point shockingly she said, "i told her to go ahead and come through because my line wasn't busy." flabbergasted i said, "then why didn't you tell me that or say something to her so that that entire scene didn't have to go down?"
she just laughed. however, i didn't find it remotely amusing.

as i left the store, i thought about several things:

first, i knew that there were MUCH bigger battles to fight, and realized i had just wasted my time and energy on the wrong one.

second, i wondered what would cause the woman to be so knee-jerkingly reactionary. i realized she was wearing a hijab(islamic headscarf) and was african. i wondered if she's been discriminated against a lot in Nordic minnesota, and therefore just goes around on the offensive feeling the need to defend herself. that made me sad, because i put so much effort into bridging cross-cultural communication.
lol, she would probably never believe that!

third, i was reminded of how our culture has slipped into a coma when it comes to doing the right thing. no one ever wants to get involved, and that's really tragic(again, reference the kitty genovese story).

then i brought the it home. i thought about how when any of us do the wrong thing(and we KNOW it's the wrong thing), then, like a trial lawyer we aggressively defend it even if it hurts others. i've been guilty of it, but when i was the recipient today, i realized how awful rationalization really is.

so i said a little prayer asking God to help me to stop excusing anything i know is wrong, and to aid me in trying to always quest after THE Truth, not my truth.

progress, not perfection.